THE JOY OF REMEMBERING - AND THE SILENCE THAT FOLLOWS

    

Sending birthday and anniversary messages to friends and relatives has always been a quiet joy I inherited from my parents. They taught me that remembering people on their special days is more than a routine — it’s a heartfelt gesture of affection and connection.

In the earlier days, this act took real effort and thought. Greetings were sent through telegrams — short, formal lines that somehow carried great emotion. Then came the days of PCO calls, when personal telephones were rare, and we used “PP numbers” through neighbours or nearby shops for urgent messages. Later, mobile phones changed everything, and now, WhatsApp makes greetings instant and effortless.

I still continue this beautiful habit — sending messages, making calls, wishing people on their special days. Most people reply warmly. But sometimes, I can’t help wondering — do they ever think of me when it’s my special day? Do they feel the same joy in remembering and reaching out? Or has the gesture become one-sided — me remembering, others receiving?

This small question often crosses my mind:
Should I stop sending messages to those who never reciprocate? Or should I continue, without expecting anything in return?

 The Dilemma of Expectation

Human nature is such that we don’t always act expecting something back — but a little acknowledgment always feels good. When it doesn’t come, we feel a quiet sting. Yet, I’ve learned that everyone expresses love differently. Some people aren’t good with dates. Others might be overwhelmed by their own lives. A few may even think of you warmly but forget to send a message.

 What Can We Do?

Continue with a full heart:
If remembering others makes you happy, keep doing it. Let your joy come from the act itself, not the response.

Reduce the list, not the warmth:
You can always prioritize those who genuinely care. It’s not about cutting people off — it’s about valuing your emotional energy.

Use reminders, not resentment:
If you feel forgotten, smile and move on. Not everyone measures relationships the same way.

Connect beyond occasions:
A simple “thinking of you” or “how have you been?” on a regular day can mean more than a birthday wish.

Focus on your values:
The habit of remembering others reflects you — your upbringing, your kindness, your sense of connection.

 A Gentle Realization

With time, I’ve realized that remembering others is less about receiving and more about giving — a small way to keep warmth alive in an increasingly mechanical world. It’s something I do not because others do it, but because it feels right to me.

And so, I’ll keep sending those messages — maybe with fewer expectations, but with the same affection and sincerity. Because genuine wishes don’t always need replies to remain meaningful — they’re ripples of goodwill that return to us in unexpected ways.

 

 Now, I’d love to hear from you:
Do you also enjoy sending greetings and messages?
Have you ever felt disappointed when people don’t reciprocate?
What do you think is the right balance between expressing and expecting?

Share your thoughts — your experiences might help others who feel the same way!