If I Could Time Travel: A Heartfelt Conversation With My Childhood Self

  

 

If I ever got the chance to time travel and meet the little version of myself, I know exactly what we would talk about—two innocent yet intense obsessions that ruled my childhood: becoming fair and growing long, beautiful hair. Today they make me laugh, but back then they felt painfully serious.

The Fairness Obsession: A Red Brick and a Child’s Innocence

I grew up with a darker complexion compared to many of my fair-skinned aunties. Naturally, the little me wondered why I didn’t look like them. Once, in pure innocence, I asked one of my aunties how I could become fair like her. In a joking, playful tone she replied,
“Just use red brick instead of soap—you’ll turn fair!”

She was teasing, but I believed her with all my heart. I even cried and insisted that my mother rub sengal (red brick) on me so I could magically become fair. Looking back, the memory is both foolish and adorable—a perfect glimpse into childhood innocence.

If I could meet that younger version of myself, I would gently tell her:
“You don’t need to change your skin. True beauty shines from within—from your kindness, your thoughts, your heart.”

The Long-Hair Dream: Chowri, Kunjalam, and Childhood Fantasies

In South India of the 80s, long braids were a timeless beauty symbol. Women proudly flaunted thick plaits tied neatly with kunjalam or kuchu. Those with thin or short hair used chowri—false hair—to enhance length and thickness.

But I had a short bob cut. Maintenance and cooperation were not my strengths, so my parents wisely chose what worked. Yet, inside, I longed for a long braid that reached my waist.

Every time my grand-aunt visited, I begged her to fix a chowri to my tiny plait. The moment it was done, I would parade around the neighbourhood, swaying my borrowed long braid like a proud heroine. I truly believed I looked magical.

Today, my hair remains medium to short, curly, dry, frizzy, sprinkled with friendly greys. I manage it with clips and confidence. Long or short, it's mine—and I embrace it as it is.

If I could talk to my young self, I would tell her:
“Your hair doesn’t define your beauty. You’re beautiful whether your braid is long, short, or completely imperfect.”

What Time Travel Teaches Me About Self-Acceptance

Those childhood obsessions now seem silly, even funny. But they were genuine feelings from a little girl who didn’t yet understand the world.

Today I know this truth:
Beauty is not in fairness. Beauty is not in hair length. Beauty is in authenticity—being confidently and completely yourself.

If time travel were possible, I would gift my younger self the wisdom to love herself just as she is. But since it isn’t, I give that reminder to myself today… and to anyone who might need it.

Be proud of who you are—inside and out.